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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330019">Wish You Were Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jisungscheescake/pseuds/Jisungscheescake'>Jisungscheescake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:13:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jisungscheescake/pseuds/Jisungscheescake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hyung?"</p><p>Minho gluped as he spared a glance at the man in front of him who stared at the beer can in his hands with a glare. </p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>He didn't like the way Jisung sighed in response. </p><p>"You- Hyung you gotta get rid of those feelings for me you know? I thought I was clear the last time we were on this topic.."</p><p> </p><p>Or</p><p>Jisung and Minho confront each other about their feelings but realize that they can't have that happy ending as they wish because of their circumstances as idols.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wish You Were Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Minho couldn't sleep. </p><p>He tried his best to fall asleep; turning to his side, dragging the comforter up till his nose and even watching multiple ASMR videos didn't help. </p><p>As an idol from a busy and schedule packed idol group, he was supposed to sleep early so that he could wake up by 7am to head to the company for an early morning meeting with their management. </p><p>They had a rough week as they have finally decided to make their comeback within two months;as the lead dancer of the group, he was given the task to assist their choreographers in planning the future choreographies. </p><p>Every single member was busy with their own tasks and it was a taking a toll on them just as usual when they are readying to have a come back. The younger two members are spending hours in order to excel in their vocals as the vocalists and his fellow two danceracha members are helping him and the choreographers in work. In the midst of everything, they were all worried about the 3racha members whom they would only see during the meetings about their upcoming comebacks as the three of them have literally holed themselves up in the studios since last month. </p><p>One morning during breakfast- when the 3racha members weren't around- Hyunjin told the others how Changbin looked as if he had cried when he came home late at night and it worried them all but they couldn't do anything aside from hoping that the three producers will finish up the album before either of them go through a serious mental breakdown or worse; collapse down from exhaustion. </p><p>What really was upsetting for Minho was the way Jisung got distant from him. It's no secret that the young producer is a workaholic even off come back seasons and Minho is used to being ignored for weeks till Jisung would be done with a project but this time it really did hit hard as it has been more than three weeks since they last had a decent conversation. </p><p>A part of him wondered if Jisung is intentionally ignoring his presence but the guilt of even thinking about that would eat him alive when he sees the said man looking dead tired in one of their album discussing sessions in the company the next day. </p><p>Minho sighed before checking for the time on his phone-which said it's past 12am-and getting up from the bed to do a midnight bathroom visit. He tiptoed to the door as he didn't want Seungmin and Hyunjin-his roommates-to be disturbed by him. </p><p>By the time he was done in the bathroom, he decided to pay quick visit to their kitchen as well. He deliberately ignored the peeking packets of ramen in one of the kitchen cupboards and warmed up some milk to help him get back to sleep quickly. After pouring it into his favorite mug-a mug that was gifted by Jisung with cute little cat faces printed on its surface-he dragged his heavy legs to the dark living room area. </p><p>"HOLY FUCK-"</p><p>Minho immediately slapped a hand on his mouth to prevent himself from cursing more and waking up the others and he almost thought that he dropped his favorite mug. </p><p>The figure that scared the hell out of him-the one draped over the big sofa in their living room-lifted his head from the arm rest and gave a nonchalant wave as if he didn't give a mini heart attack to the man who's currently gaping at him. </p><p>"Jisung? What are you- hold up why the fuck are you drinking beer dead at night?"</p><p>Jisung-who happens to be the mystery man in their dark living room-raised an eyebrow at his comment. Minho eyed the man who's still wearing his jeans and shirt and assumed that he came home just sometime ago. </p><p>"What? Am I supposed to drink this at breakfast with my cereal?"</p><p>Minho didn't like the icy tone of the other's voice and sighed before taking a seat besides the younger. He took a sip from his mug and decided to break the awkward and tensed silence. </p><p>"Are we fighting? Did I do something wrong?"</p><p>Jisung snapped his head at the elder and felt himself regretting at the dejected look on Minho's face. </p><p>"No- I'm sorry hyung.. I just came home and it was a frustrating day at the studio so I wasn't in the mood.."</p><p>Minho nodded without saying anything while the younger rested his head back on the armrest with a sigh. </p><p>"How was your day? You seem pretty tensed?"</p><p>Minho asked carefully not to bother the other who seems to have no problem with the question. </p><p>"Well, remember that track we said that got rejected by the company? Me and Chan hyung managed to get their permission and they finally approved it.."</p><p>Minho jumped on the sofa and turned around to face the younger who jolted awake with the sudden motion. </p><p>"Really? That's awesome! I honestly liked that track more than the one you guys had as the backup - I mean both are great but you know what I'm saying right? The lyrics are amazing and it's really emotional because it talks about how vulnerable a person could be when they are feeling lonely- fuck I love it.."</p><p>Jisung couldn't help but smile as he watched the elder talk non stop about how much he liked the track. </p><p>"It's my song."</p><p>Minho froze at Jisung's words as he stared at the younger with wide eyes-which the younger returned with an amused chuckle. </p><p>"What? I have wrote many songs before-what's the big deal?"</p><p>Jisung saw how Minho's smile slips for a moment before he forced himself to smile again. </p><p>"No- it's just.. The lyrics.. The melody is so catchy and all that but the lyrics sounds so sad. I know your lyrics are always personal so-"</p><p>"Maybe that's why you can relate to it and like it that much? Sometimes we all get a bit lonely no matter how busy our daily lives are, no matter how many people are around us. I sometimes feel like I should escape from this reality and go back to Malaysia or something."</p><p>Minho set his mug on the coffee table before scooting close to Jisung who has his arm draped on the armrest. He pressed close to the younger and rested his head on Jisung's extended arm. Jisung didn't have enough time to react to it because the next moment, Minho was snatching the beer can from his hand and was taking a big gulp out of nowhere. </p><p>"Hey! Don't drink- you have the alcohol tolerance of a baby"</p><p>"In which world do babies drink alcohol Jisung?"</p><p>The younger couldn't make a proper comeback at Minho's mischievous grin and faked a glare before snatching his beer can back. </p><p>"I think I can relate to your story. Sometimes I want to go back to my childhood where I didn't have to worry about anything. Just eat and study and sleep. Oh! I could play with my cats too.. I miss my babies.."</p><p>Jisung chuckled at that and Minho flushed when he felt the vibration passing through his body as he was pressed close to the other man. </p><p>"Now that I think of it, imagine if none of us met back then. Like you staying behind as a backup dancer, me going back to Malaysia and Chan hyung back to Australia. Felix deciding not to come to Korea, Changbin hyung pursuing his studies, Seungmin going for law studies, Hyunjin not being found by that staff and Jeongin deciding to be a teacher.. It's all fate isn't it? And now we gotta work according to that."</p><p>Minho smiled at the words as he thought about how true the younger's words are. </p><p>"If that happened, I wouldn't have ever met you I guess.."</p><p>Jisung stilled at Minho's quiet voice and Minho felt himself panic before he straightened himself on the couch. Both of them were silent as if they know that they touched a topic that they left off sometime ago as they weren't ready to address at that time. </p><p>"Jisung? Just forget what I said-"</p><p>"Hyung?"</p><p>Minho gluped as he spared a glance at the man in front of him who stared at the beer can in his hands with a glare. </p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>He didn't like the way Jisung sighed in response. </p><p>"You- Hyung you gotta get rid of those feelings for me you know? I thought I was clear the last time we were on this topic.."</p><p>Minho felt his heart stop for a second and he had to force himself not to be weak in front of the other. But when he started to speak, he knew it was a hard task given by the way Jisung's eyes softened at his wavering voice. </p><p>"I'm sorry- it's just- isn't it too selfish for you to ask me to get rid of my feelings when you don't even know how hard it is?"</p><p>Jisung scoffed at his words and Minho glanced at the closed bedroom doors knowing that an argument is coming up. </p><p>"I know how hard it is hyung.. You know that it's hard on me too but I'm doing by best here. Why can't you put some effort into it too? Or do you want me to be guilt tripped every time you talk to me like that?"</p><p>"If it's as hard as you are saying it is, you would've made some efforts in trying to work this thing between us right?"</p><p>Minho knew he shouldn't anger Jisung in the middle of the night given the fact that the younger has zero patience when it comes down to arguments. But he was tired of acting as if he isn't a human being with a heart and emotions. </p><p>"If we were under different circumstances-away from this whole kpop community, then I would've given it a chance. It's not as easy as you say hyung. We are two guys and top of it, two guys who are idols from the same group. How would people react if they find us out? I know people around us would support us but we can't take the risk.."</p><p>Jisung sounds distressed and it made Minho more guilty but he needed to end this conversation right now and get a straight answer from the younger unlike the last time they put off the whole conversation after they shared their first kiss few months before. </p><p>"We both know we like each other and if people around us are supporting and if the management would help us out too, we could be secretive about it right? I mean- I'm not forcing you, maybe just- maybe I'm insecure that you might not like me the way I do or something.."</p><p>Both Chan and Changbin has already talked to the two of them about their unofficial relationship and Chan has warned both of them but reassured them with the promise that he and the others would make sure both of them won't get hurt if they ever decided to try out a relationship between them. </p><p>"Are you sure you like men hyung? If you decide to date me, you'll be labeled as gay and same goes for me. Not that I'm against it or anything-it's just confusing and I'm not even sure if we are like that or being like this just around each other because we are craving for a relationship as people who never got the chance to have that in our lives. Whatever this is between us might end up hurting both of us in the end."</p><p>Minho knew every word Jisung's saying was true and it made his heart ache knowing that he'll have to give up on the person he likes. </p><p>Jisung felt horrible seeing Minho's pained expression but he had to push through this whole conversation even if it was tearing his heart apart. </p><p>"Want me to tell you a secret? Don't tell anyone for now though.."</p><p>Minho looked up and nodded eagerly which made Jisung's heart stutter at how pretty the older looked. </p><p>"Changbin hyung broke up with that girl two weeks ago.."</p><p>Minho gasped as he tried to process Jisung's words. Everyone knew that Changbin was seeing a girl who's in the same industry as them and all of them supportive knowing that the couple was pinning at each other since their trainee days. He thought it would be a happy ending for them but it looks like he was mistaken. </p><p>"Both of them were too busy. She's busy with her work and hyung is always in the studios and they decided to end their relationship as they knew it won't work out. Hyung was all cool  in front of our managers saying it was for the best but the moment it was just me and Chan hyung in the studio, he broke down. Never saw him crying that hard.. He told us that the reason he let go of her was because he didn't want to hurt her in the end-that they both  don't deserve to be hurt."</p><p>Minho felt himself tearing up at the details-he loved the couple and he loves Changbin like his own brother so it pained him to know that the younger was going through such a hard time yet had to push himself for the immense workload at the studio as if he didn't just break up with his long time crush/girlfriend. It reminded him of Hyunjin talking about Changbin with red eyes one night and realized that the break up might've been the reason. </p><p>"Remember what happened to Chan hyung's affair too right? When Chan hyung heard Changbin hyung's reason in breaking up, he almost cried because he also broke up for the same reason with his girlfriend back then. Hyung I'm scared it would be same for us.. I'm just like those two-to be honest worst than them when it comes to work.. I can't think of myself committed to a relationship when all I could think about is writing my head off in a closed off studio 24/7. I just- I just can't do hurt you hyung.."</p><p>Minho heard the desperation in Jisung's voice and he felt relieved? At least he got to know that the other man clearly liked him and cared for him and that was more than enough for him. </p><p>He looked up at Jisung who's staring right back at him. He smiled with all his might before snatching back the beer can and drinking the remaining alcohol with two big gulps. He set aside the empty can while Jisung stared at him with wide eyes. </p><p>"I understand you Jisung.. I'm sorry.. I think I just needed to know that you liked me or not. You clearly do and I don't doubt it anymore.. And that's enough for me.."</p><p>Jisung's tensed muscles relaxed at the words as he fully turned around to face Minho and Minho did the same as both of them stared at each other while leaning against the armrest. Jisung was the first one to break the silence this time. </p><p>"Maybe one day- I'm not trying to get your hopes up but maybe one day when everything's settled down and my head's free from all these work loads- maybe we can try us out.. I mean only if you would be interested in me then which I don't think you would.."</p><p>Minho smiled despite the small headache that's coming up and he regretted drinking beer when he knew he can't handle two sips from a regular can. </p><p>"We'll end this conversation today Jisung.. Let's not talk about it again and again just to hurt each other and I'm sorry for bringing it up when you are going through a hard time with work right now. So before we end this here, let me tell you this.."</p><p>Jisung stared at him silently as Minho took a deep breathe. </p><p>"I have always liked you Jisung.. I'm sure of it. Am I gay? Yes! Even if it's only for you, I am.. And my present self really really like you a lot and my future self will do the same because it would be really hard to get over you.."</p><p>Jisung had to clench his fist in order to calm himself down as Minho said those words and he wondered if Minho was drunk by a half can of beer. Though he decided not to bother the other and let him continue his speech. </p><p>"I honestly really like you and I'm more than happy to know that you also like me back. That's enough for me even though I can't have you all to myself.. And Jisung I - it's not just that I like you- I - I might even lo-"</p><p>Jisung was quick enough to place his finger over the other's lips to stop him from talking. It worked and Minho looked at him with confusion. </p><p>"Don't say those words Minho.. If you do, I would just lose control and end up doing something stupid.. So go back and get some sleep now.. I still gotta finish some work.."</p><p>With that he removed his finger and leaned into press a small kiss to his forehead. </p><p>"Good night hyung."</p><p>Minho felt as if he was paralyzed but managed to wish the other a good night before standing up to leave. </p><p>"Leave the mug.. I'll wash it.."</p><p>Minho thanked the younger and with that, he quickly escaped into his room without looking back. </p><p>Once he was in and the door is shut, he took a deep breathe before all the frustration,anger and sadness seeped out of his eyes as tears. He pressed a hand to his mouth to hide his sobs but when he heard Seungmin's quiet voice, he knew it was fruitless. </p><p>"Hyung? Are you okay?"</p><p>Minho quickly wiped his tears and cleared his throat as if nothing happened though his voice gave away his lies. </p><p>"Y-Yeah.. Go back to sleep.. I'm fine.."</p><p>Seungmin watched as Minho went to his bed and closed the curtains. He saw that Hyunjin who's on the top bunk of Minho's bed was also awake and looking at him with a perplexed expression. Both of them heard the snifflings and sobbings of the elder didn't know what caused the elder to cry like that as it was their first time witnessing (or hearing) it. </p><p>Just when Seungmin was about to ask Hyunjin on what to do their silent question was answered as they heard another voice from the living room.. That voice sounded strained just like how Minho's did. </p><p>"Yeah hyung? I got home sometime ago. I'll send it now.. Come back soon it's late.."</p><p>Jisung sounded stressed and exhausted. If it was another time, the two would've worried about Jisung being home this late or whoever that called, either Chan or Changbin, still being in the studio. But right now all they wondered was what happened out there and it wasn't hard to connect the dots and understand that Jisung and Minho probably had an argument or a fight. </p><p>Everyone knew that the two had something going on but no one dared to bring that up as they didn't want to meddle in each other's love life. </p><p>Since there wasn't anything they could do about Minho, both Seungmin and Hyunjin decided to go back to sleep though none of them could when they heard that Minho was still crying behind the curtain. </p><p>At the same time, Jisung stared at the mug that was left by Minho-the mug he got for Minho back in them trainee days as a gift-before taking the mug and the empty beer can to the kitchen. </p><p>He really wanted to sit back and think about everything just happened-maybe some sort of solution as he knew that he hurt Minho-but just like how he told Minho, he didn't have time. He didn't have time to think about someone else because even now when he's at home, he still had unfinished work to care of. </p><p>So all he could do was pretend as if nothing happened and push through everything as it was the only thing he could do-for their group, for himself and most importantly for the person he loves who's Minho..</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That was a random idea that popped up in my head out of nowhere. I wonder if idols really go through such things when it comes to relationships? Idk lol anyways another canon minsung ff that I hope y'all liked. </p><p>Hope that you enjoyed and have a nice day ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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